The Way it Happened by Jon

Last Wednesday morning February 17, 2010 before dawn Maryjoy, Grampa and
Grandma were driving on the freeway out to watch the sunrise in the Arizona
desert when they were struck from behind by a faster moving semi out. They
were concluding a wonderful couple of weeks together. Grandma was thrown,
breaking her scapula and a couple of ribs. She was unconscious. Grampa
suffered spinal fractures in the neck and mid back, broken ribs and
undetermined head injuries. Mary was banged around, but nothing was broken.
She rendered what aid she could. The truck driver called 911.
Grandma had been thrown, breaking her scapula and a couple of ribs. She was unconscious. Grampa had been driven headfirst into the back portions of the motor home, suffering spinal fractures in the neck and mid back, broken ribs and undetermined head injuries. Mary was banged around, but nothing was broken. She rendered what aid she could. The truck driver called 911.
They were all helicoptered to Phoenix, St. Joseph's hospital. Grampa and Grandma were both conscious at this time, but shortly after arriving in the hospital, Grampa slipped into a natural coma.
On Sunday all 6 of us were gathered in Grampa's ICU room. He remained comatose, on life support, showing no signs of pain or awareness. His doctors, after careful attention over the preceding days, advised us that he would almost certainly die within 30 days regardless of what was done for him, and in the event of his recovery his quality of life would be harsh and physically disabled.
Grampa had, in his wallet, a card with the website where his living will was to be obtained. In that document, he stated that in such a situation as I have just described, his instructions were:
no hospitalization
no resuscitation**
no artificial feeding
no artificial life support.
His instructions were countersigned by his lawyer. We looked at the whole picture, spoke with Dad, felt carefully, and asked the hospital to remove the life support equipment.
Cam and I remained in the room while this was done, watching carefully for any signal that he felt otherwise than what he had written, now that the actual moment had arrived. A person has the right to change his mind. Life is precious. His eyes never moved, he made no sign of objection (other than facial grimacing when the tape was being pulled off of his mustache), then we took turns sitting at his bedside through the night so that he was not alone. In the morning at about 7:30, after a night of continued steady breathing and heartbeat, I went to the hotel to get someone to shift me. About 20 minutes later, we got a call that his oxygen levels had fallen somewhat, and he was probably checking out fairly soon. Perhaps 15 minutes later, as Cam and I were walking down the hotel hall toward the hospital, we got a second call that he had slipped quietly away. Just like Grampa.
We are planning to have his body brought back to Osoyoos for a funeral, which will be in 2 weeks, more or less. We hope you will come with your family.
It was, under the circumstances, a beautiful passing. If they are taking requests, I request one like this for myself. The nurses wondered about his undrugged, natural coma. He showed no signs of being in pain, after the first pain of the accident itself, when he repeatedly warned of the pain in his back and that his spine was injured. The family gathered around him in love and concern for his welfare, and carefully waited for the doctors to do all they could before agreeing to implement Dad's written instructions. The only impressions I received as I'd pondered the accident, during the wee hours of the morning after I'd heard about it Thursday night, was, /"Leave him alone."/ That puzzled me at the time, but he finally would not depart until we left him alone. Now life has to go on without his physical presence on this side of the veil.